“Naked Confusion” is up at The Cynic.

In other news, I received a rejection this morning stating my story was “cute and quirky and fit the genre but just didn’t make the cut.” Ha! The story of my life! It’s only the story’s second rejection, though. There are still plenty of places I can foist it upon.

And, as of yesterday, my internet at home is down again, for the second time in the last month. The modem’s acting the same way it was when my cable got disconnected. I’m almost tempted to cancel. I got a lot of writing done last night without it.

The third episode of Picket Fences has a Tom Lehrer song (”New Math” to be exact). I suddenly have all kinds of respect for this show, though they do lose a few points because the guy singing it was acting unnecessarily goofy. I just hope Mr. Lehrer was paid royalties.

Thank “Bob” it’s over! And congrats to Erin who won with a staggering word count of 24,364! :-O

Yep, the SED contest is over, and I managed to write a story each day! My final word count was 12,808. I’m glad I made it, but I’m even more glad that it’s over. Some of the stories were better than others. Some I’ll expand, revise and polish, and others will probably sit on my hard drive untouched for the rest of eternity.

Now that I don’t have to come up with a brand new story every day, I have time to think about the next insane writing activity I’m going to subject myself to–the 3-Day Novel Contest. Last year, I had a good idea of what I was going to write from the day I registered, and I succeeded (I have the sticker and certificate to prove it, lol!). This year, I registered early and I still have no idea what I’m going to write about. I think I might do a collection of related short stories, like the 2005 winner, Day Shift Werewolf. Novels are far too beastly to revise and get in order, and I haven’t been in the mood to revise my zombie novel I wrote for NaNo last year and I haven’t touched last year’s 3-Day Novel, Ugly Cupcakes since I finished it in September. I think for now, short stories are the way to go.

Finally got my internet back! It only took the cable guy about five minutes to find the problem and re-connect me. It’s a Saturday morning miracle!

I’m still plugging away at the Story Every Day contest, but I’m running out of ideas for stories. Thank “Bob” there are only two more days left! Quick! Give me an idea for today’s story!

If you’re needing inspiration, I’d like to point you in the direction of these prompts from McSweeney’s. Not only are they fun to read and think about, they’ve inspired a few of my stories. Prompt 13 inspired “Drew’s Unfortunate Island Adventure,” which is set to appear in OMG! The Book of Awesome Stuff.

It’s day 9 of the SED contest, and I’ve managed to churn out a story every day so far. Here’s part of today’s creation:

Loretta lived in a turquoise and white trailer near the edge of a cliff. Her husband, Dr. Cracker, sat at the Formica-topped kitchen table, eating a bologna and Cheez Whiz sandwich. Loretta stood in the open front door, watching the pink flamingos in her front yard. There was something different about them. She couldn’t put her finger on what, though. Maybe it was just the way the sun hit them. Or maybe it was the fact that the milk on her Froot Loops this morning was five days out of date. Dr. Cracker mumbled something incomprehensible.

“I don’ t know about hat, honey,” she yelled back. “I think maybe they’re in heat. Maybe that’s it.” She rubbed her dimpled chin, pursing her candy apple red lips. A muggy breeze swept past, whipping the skirt of her pink floral dress and causing the flamingos to sway. Dr. Cracker let out a long, deep groan.

“You might be right, baby. Maybe it was the Jehovah’s witnesses. Ever since I told them I worship Ba’al, they’ve been cold.” She closed the rickety screen door and shrugged the thought away. “I guess it doesn’t matter. I’m sure the flamingos are fine.” She assembled a bologna and Cheez Whiz sandwich for herself. Dr. Cracker was half-way through his.

“You’re such a good eater, Cracky, baby.” She smiled as she slathered a slice of snowy white Wonder Bread with sticky yellow Cheez Whiz. “You know what we should do? We should take the flamingos on a vacation. Maybe to see the Grand Canyon or to Vegas! We could finally get ‘em hitched. I know they’ve just been dying to finally tie the knot.”

Dr. Cracker gave an affirmative grunt.

“That’s it, schnookums, we’re goin’ to Vegas! Just let me finish my sandwich.” She laid two slabs of bologna on the Cheez Whiz-smeared bread, then topped it off with another Cheez-Whiz-slathered slice. She sunk her teeth into the sandwich, wiggling with delight in her creaky chair. “Oh, they’ll be so delighted to finally get away, go on their honeymoon! I can’t wait!”

Two bites into her sandwich, Loretta heard something akin to a shriek come from the front yard.

Finished yesterday’s SED with an hour to spare (again). I see a pattern developing. This one was a pirate story, and I’m not going to post any excerpts because I’m going to expand this one into a full-fledged story. I already have two potential markets in mind. Anyone got any good pirate stories they recommend I read to get in a pirate-y mood? Girl pirate stories would be a plus, since mine’s going to be about an all-girl band of pirates.

Registration for the annual 3-Day Novel Contest is now open! I participated last year, and have to say it was an exhilarating, exhausting experience that makes NaNoWriMo look like a cakewalk. I managed to churn out a 30,000 word novella in three grueling days. If you need a creative kick-start, this contest will definitely do it for ya, if it doesn’t kill you or drive you to the brink of insanity first.

So, there are lots of songs with girls’ names in the title, like, “Rio” by Duran Duran, “Valleri” by The Monkees, “Believe Me, Natalie” by The Killers, “Melanie” by “Weird Al” Yankovic, “Sarah” by Starship, “Wendy” by The Beach Boys, and only about a million others. But are there any songs about Stephanie? I didn’t think so. So, dork that I am, I searched the iTunes store and found two awesome songs with my name in the title:

“Stephanie” by Grand:PM
“Stephanie” by Hail Social

Not only are these awesome songs, but they have my name in them, which makes them superextrawesome. I’d never heard of either of these bands before, but they are now on my Awesomest Bands Ever list for immortalizing my name in song. Go buy their albums, buy concert tickets, or whatever to show them your appreciation of putting my name to music. ;-P

Well, maybe it’s not that old, but I recently received an acceptance letter for some poems I sent out, oh, about six years ago. It had to be 2001 or 2002. It arrived at my parents old house in January, and the new owners sent it to my parents a couple of weeks ago. The editor mentioned I should have received my contributor’s copy by now. Uhh, no. I haven’t lived at that house since 2004, my parents moved outta there in 2005, and the new owners aren’t that diligent about getting stray mail to us.

So . . . yeah . . . apparently, a poem of mine appeared in Krax sometime in the past six years or so. I don’t think they have any kind of web presence or way to order copies online. Oh, well. I think it’s pretty funny that I still occasionally get random letters from my days as a poet.

In zombie novel news, well, I just haven’t been in the mood to touch it. Chapter 3 is full of backstory and is rather action-less and Chapter 4 is only two pages right now. Blech. Once I break through this plateau of dullish chapters, I’ll be well on my way to some great zombie-stompin’ action, but right now, I just don’t wanna look at it. :-\

I just sold my first YA story! “The Sophomore’s Compleat Guide to Political Espionage” will appear in the June 2008 issue of Sheroes Rag. The poor story had been rejected seven times (and revised three or four times), and I was starting to wonder if I’d ever find a home for it! Hooray!